beth was an amazing, beautiful girl. in no way was this deserved by her or alan. it is unfair that she had to leave so soon and so young. it is the most unjust situation i have ever witnessed.
no amount of remorse that the drunk driver shows will ever make up for what's been done. nothing that anyone can say about this will make us feel alright. what has happened will never be okay. her life was taken instantly because some middle-aged guy made a bad choice. i'm sure he wasn't thinking he was going to get in an accident and kill an amazing girl. but that's just it.. he wasn't thinking. at all. if he had just been responisble that one time (or the people he was with been responsible and not let him leave), beth would still be here and no one would have to feel so awful.
with that said, now would be a great time to say that if you are drunk and need to get home. please do not hesitate to call me at any hour because i don't want this to happen to anyone (and their families/friends) ever again. don't drunk drive under any circumstance. just don't do it. it will ruin more lives than you'll ever know.
at best, we can learn from this. we are not immortal. we and those close to us will all die someday and we must accept that.
"everyone knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it. if we did, we would do things differently..once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.. most of us all walk around as if we're sleepwalking. we really don't experience the world fully, because we're half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.. we are all too involved in materialistic things, and they don't satisfy us. the loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted."
beth is gone now. we have to be thankful for the time that we had with her and the things we learned because of her. we have to stay together and continue to love beth for who she is and what she's done for this world. but we have to love each other.
personally, this tragedy has taught me to be more open with my love and appreciation for people. to never miss an opportunity to love someone and to tell them that i love them. to appreciate the moment and not waste it with anger and spite.
i feel guilty because i didn't spend enough time with her. i was too "busy" with band practice and camps (which i don't even care about) that i couldn't take the time to spend with friends. it seems so ridiculous now that those things were more important. i would skip everything now if i could go back and change it so i could've been with her more.
but i can't, so i have to change things now. i have to prioritize and focus on the people in my life that are important to me. because we're not going to live forever. we can't put things off and say "we'll do it later" because maybe there will not be a later.
every day i go to sleep, expecting that i will wake up in the morning. and every day that i do, i don't consider "is this the last day of my life? am i who i want to be? have i done everything i can do? am i self-fulfilled?" because i am so young. we all assume we're going to live until we're old. but maybe we won't. it's hard to understand until you know someone that dies so young. we've all heard of teenagers dying in accidents but it never feels like it could be you until it happens to someone that is close to you. and even then, we don't feel it's real until we go to the funeral.
i believe in fate. i believe that beth was such an amazing person because she had such a short time here with us and so all of the beauty/goodness was smooshed up into the few years she was here. i feel so blessed to have known her and experienced one of the most giving/selfless people in the world.
"love is how you stay alive, even after you're gone."
so many people loved beth and she will stay alive through us having the memories she gave us.
beth's memorial myspace is:
http://www.myspace.com/inlovingmemoryofbeth
and the newspaper article about her accident is here:
http://www.marionstar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061007/NEWS01/61007010&SearchID=73259256436625 | 
.jpg)
